A Story of Straw: Kettlewell Scarecrow Festival Review
A place of dry stone walls and beautifully weathered cottages, with some houses dating back to the 17th century, the village of Kettlewell in Upper Wharfedale, North Yorkshire has been a thriving yet tight-knit community since the 13th century. Despite sounding like they have the instruments for making a great cup of tea (which they do), the name Kettlewell likely derives from the Anglo Saxon Chetelewelle (bubbling stream) in reference to the River Wharfe which runs through it. Being located in a remote countryside dip gives the village an aura of embracing security, safe from the troubles of the outside world. The inviting scenery of Kettlewell makes it popular with hiking tourists, which means the area’s population of 322 is never unfamiliar to visitors, who are made to feel most welcome.
In order to help bolster the coffers of the local church, village hall, school and community projects, every August the village hosts The Kettlewell Scarecrow Festival, a two week showcase of the villagers’ straw-people making talent. Originally an event run by the school in 1994, the scarecrow festival became a staple benefitting various other parts of the community from 1998 onward. This year it was held between 12th and 20th August, and Dee and I were lucky enough to attend on the festival’s final day. Arriving at 10am after a one hour drive from Leeds meant there was ample room in the makeshift car park, where our Kia Ceed was the tenth vehicle to be slotted in the field for the morning, at the reasonable cost of only £3. From the get go we knew it would be a great day out as parking attendants were as warm and inviting as the weather, one of them offering up a history of the village and nearby geography unprompted. Today I Learned: Limestone is excavated at the nearby Swinden Quarry which is used to produce make-up. Also, the natural mineral form of lead is called Galena (although I’m sure most of you already knew that). The Kettlewell Scarecrow trail begins at the local garage, erected in the 1920s and has been run by the same family from 1946 onwards. For only £1 we acquired a trail map from the nearby shop. On the back of the map is an anagram puzzle that can only be solved by collecting letters along the trail (which results in entry to a daily £10 prize draw!), but lacking a pen or inclination, we opted to forgo the Da Vinci Code adventure and devoted our time to simply snapping daft photos. Apparently a Jane Taggart from Halifax and a Hayden Tippling from Harrogate adopted a very different attitude towards the Kettlewell scarecrow hunt and were the competition winners that day – I hope they didn’t let the success go to their heads. |
KETTLEWELL SCARECROW EVENT: VILLAGE LIFE The first leg of our escapade was a look at Kettlwell’s colourful village life in Scarecrow form, our first photo opportunity being with the local down and out, sozzled on a roadside bench. Despite the insistence of a village woman that Dee should lay next to him, she only went as far as a brief sit down with the drunken hay tramp. She tried to help him up but it seems he had straw legs (Warning: Some terrible puns ahead. No, seriously, the worst puns you’ll likely EVER read. But I don’t care, guess Hay-ters gonna hay-te). Guiding us along the journey were scarecrows with red arms to point the way, although on a couple of occasions they mischievously lead us out of the village, perhaps due more to the previous night’s strong and displacing wind gusts rather than by any malicious design. Bad weather may also have been a factor in a couple of incidents we bore witness to - one horse rider thrown over a wall and a jockey and her horse stuck in a hedge. Thankfully they too were only made of straw. |
For a community made up entirely from straw and old clothes, the village was surprisingly teeming with activity, with habitants all happy to pose for photos. Dee met a newlywed couple and got a bit flirtatious with the groom, I got to know one of the Scottish wedding guests, a waiter offered us a quiet corner table (which we declined), we both spent some time chatting to an old woman sat waiting for a bus, and despite their horrendous attitudes toward health and safety, we both gave some assistance to a couple of workmen (all pictured). After a brief chat with a flesh and blood lady (at least I think, no HOPE she was) about how she adopted a head from her neighbour to create the weight-lifting scarecrow in her drive, and how she had attempted to give him some biceps (with questionable results), we got attacked by a bright orange lion, a somewhat unexpected occurrence for a village in North Yorkshire. Also somewhat out of place were a trio of penguins, who even more confusingly seemed to be enjoying an unexpected tropical corner of the village (all pictured). |
Even at an early hour on a Sunday there were several establishments open for refreshment, both real and straw-based, and we eventually settled in at the village hall, which was serving delightful homemade treats. We opted for a couple of scones and shortbread to take home (they were kind enough to supply small plastic bags at no extra cost) and some drinks, Dee cooling down with a strawberry milkshake while I enjoyed the homely taste of a hot chocolate with cream. The most refreshing aspect of the cake stop was that it all added up to less than £7.00, a rare luxury in an era where tourists are usually expected to go home penniless.
Flirting with an inanimate beach babe was next on the agenda, although since she already seemed to be pregnant I soon returned to my wife’s loving arms. Dee had been busy herself, helping a straw child retrieve his kite from a tree, not that he thanked her for it. We witnessed a possible botched burglary as a straw man struggled through a window holding on for dear life, and then we stumbled upon the strangest thing in the entire village – a scarecrow that was made to look like, well, err, a scarecrow! Figuring the work was easy we had a go at being scarecrows ourselves, but finding the local birds too intimidating we realised the job had been made to look easier than it really was, so we continued on with our uncanny voyage.
KETTLEWELL SCARECROWS:
RICH, FAMOUS AND HISTORICAL Astonishingly, Kettlewell is home to a ski resort but judging from what we saw, their safety record, much like their snow, is very much wanting. Still, a few old sheets are probably the best slope you could hope for on a sunny August morning, straw innards or not.
Like most northern English villages, Kettlewell features several time portals which we dipped in and out of to visit various periods and people in history such as ancient Egypt (where I walked like an Egyptian), ancient Greece and Rome, Henry VIII (who was looking trimmer than usual perhaps due to his new grass diet), Queen Victoria (who was not amused), some cavemen out walking their woolly mammoth, World War II and a couple of medieval knights. After an unpleasant brush with a hay highwayman we decided to take the apparent safer option of returning to 2017, not realising until too late that President Trump was still in power and was making numerous appearances across the village. In his defence his hair was more convincing than usual, his IQ had increased by several points and by discouraging crows from landing in a nearby field he was doing more good than ever before. |
His wasn’t the only famous face in town either. Apart from Gru and an army of Minions dotted all over the village, Kettlewell is also home to the likes of Bob Dylan (famous for his song ‘Like a rolling tumbleweed’), Shirly Bassey (singing ‘Goldfarmer’), Cliff Richard (singing ‘Living doll’), the Britain’s Got Talent judges (including Simon Cowshed), deceased musicians Michael Jackson, David Bowie, Amy Winehouse (singing ‘Hay little rich girl’), Elvis Presley (singing ‘Love me tractor’), Freddy Mercury (singing ‘Made in Hay-ven’), and fictional characters Mr Greedy, the cast of The Magic Roundabout, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Belle and the Beast, Winnie The Pooh, Iggle Piggle, Captain Pugwash, Princess Poppy the Troll, Indiana Jones (star of Grazers of the lost fork) and The Blues Brothers’ Jake and Elwood (singing ‘Shake your chicken tail feather’).
Personally, with all the lab equipment and steaming pipes setting the scene, I found the Willy Wonka section to be the most impressive of the event, but it only managed second place in the competition. Taking first prize was the Church tableau of The Wedding (apparently later on the groom admitted to really enjoying the day, but the bride was completely blown over!). Perhaps the real winner should have been the regular-looking scarecrow, someone who’s reportedly outstanding in his field.
FLEEING LIKE CROWS: TIME TO GO HOME
Including a 20 minute cake stop, the entire Kettlewell scarecrow event took us approximately 2 hours, so the day wasn’t overly straw-n out (I am so sorry, that was the last one, I promise).
As we were leaving, an army of motorcyclists and cyclists were invading the village, turning the outside of Zarina’s café into the world’s largest and oddest climbing frame, populated exclusively by a strange mix of men in black leather and rainbow lycra. Turning right to depart the fully loaded car park, we were relieved to have arrived so early to be able to enjoy the festival without the swarm of fellow visitors.
There were some creepy aspects to walking through a village populated primarily by people made of straw, and there were a couple of instances where you might be unsure whether your photo op pal might return an arm around your shoulder or walk off afterwards. Overall though it is a delightful spectacle for the entire family to enjoy, and being such a low-cost day out, well worth a couple of hours of your time.
If you are thinking of going to the next Kettlewell Scarecrow Festival then you might want to check out their website.
As we were leaving, an army of motorcyclists and cyclists were invading the village, turning the outside of Zarina’s café into the world’s largest and oddest climbing frame, populated exclusively by a strange mix of men in black leather and rainbow lycra. Turning right to depart the fully loaded car park, we were relieved to have arrived so early to be able to enjoy the festival without the swarm of fellow visitors.
There were some creepy aspects to walking through a village populated primarily by people made of straw, and there were a couple of instances where you might be unsure whether your photo op pal might return an arm around your shoulder or walk off afterwards. Overall though it is a delightful spectacle for the entire family to enjoy, and being such a low-cost day out, well worth a couple of hours of your time.
If you are thinking of going to the next Kettlewell Scarecrow Festival then you might want to check out their website.